The end of an era

After over two weeks of procrastinating/denial, I finally stepped up today and did it. I went to the vets to pick up Millie's ashes, and then tidied all of the cat stuff up in the basement (who knew you could get teary eyed whilst emptying out a litter tray?!). Now, I'm not going to pretend that I'm as upset about Millie as I was when Pollo died, as she's always been Kelsey's favorite and the two of them formed a bond that no-one else could intrude on (they say you shouldn't have favorites, but I think that only applies to kids, right?). But that feeling of sadness and melancholy has hovered over me since we had her put down, and I've been trying to put my finger on it.

My guess is that with Millie passing, an end of an era is marked. The cats felt synonymous with our house in Leeds as we got them a few months after moving in. So much happened in that house, from the forming of rock solid friendships that can withstand the Atlantic Ocean, to the birth of both kids and the decision to move over here. In amongst all of that were Millie and Pollo, who befriended (to a greater or lesser extent) many of our friends over dinner, peeing in their shoes and while we were away on holiday (so many funny videos of Pollo being needy and yowly got sent our way!).

It was a hard decision to bring them over here, but in reality the only one we could have made. We couldn't handle the idea of us not being there when they got put down, or that we would leave any of our family members behind. So at great expense (it cost more for them to fly over in two shoddy wooden boxes than it did for 4 humans with 7 pieces of luggage!) they came with us.

They didn't live the same lifestyle as they did back in Leeds (mainly because we didn't want them to end up as a meal for a bobcat or a bear), but I think the indoor life suited them. The house is big enough that they could find places to hide when the kids or Marlowe (our dog-in-law) were around, and there was always a lap to cuddle on (if you were Millie with Kelsey). I'm not sure that either of us expected them to live as long as they did, especially as Millie was given 6 months to live around 5 years ago; we did wonder if they were eternal beings trapped in cat form.

But now they're gone. No matter that this moment was bound to arrive from the time that we decided to adopt them, the sadness that comes with that ending endures. To me, it feels like another link back to Leeds is gone. That in itself seems silly to write as we were the ones who chose to leave, and severed a huge number of links in one fell swoop. But at the same time, Millie and Pollo were a constant throughout most of our time in Leeds, and with their passing, an era has come to an end.