This started as a Facebook post, but a) it will be waaay too long for most people to read on there and b) it touches and mingles on some other issues that I think belong better on this blog instead.
So let's start with the EU referendum. One major source of frustration is that whilst I followed all the rules for registering for a postal vote, and it was officially handed to the Royal Mail in time, I didn't receive it. Despite nagging, querying and chasing, I ended up without a say in the most important vote of a generation. I feel gutted by this, not because it would have made a difference, but because without a vote, there's no point in living in a democracy. Hopefully it will be resolved by the next vote.
Onto the Brexit outcome. I've seen a couple of my friends on Facebook post thought-provoking items about how, in essence, last night was democracy in action and we should start to learn how to live with the decision, so we shouldn't be sad or frustrated and definitely shouldn't be hurling abuse at the supporters of the other side. I agree with these sentiments entirely, but I still can't get rid of the sadness that the result implies to me. My sister posted this article from the Guardian: http://bit.ly/296Awev which accepts the results but puts into words my sadness:
"We are also diminished. Our politics are poisoned, our discourse is fragile, our leaders are discredited. Facts ceased to matter, knowledge ceased to be valued, compassion appeared to evaporate. As large majorities for one side or the other racked up in various parts of the country it became clear that for many of us, beyond our families, we didn’t just disagree with the other side. We literally didn’t know them. Britain is not greater for this decision and this campaign but smaller, weaker and more vulnerable."
The rest of the article is well written and thoughtful, but this section stuck out to me. The Brexit vote may work out or it may catastrophically fail. In either case, we are a country divided, with over half willing to sacrifice the rest on the basis of mis-represented truths and perceptions.
When Michael Gove was allowed to say "people are fed up of listening to experts" without condemnation or judgement, it makes me worry for our future as a species. When within 2 hours of the referendum result, the claims on £350 million being spent on the NHS instead of the EU and that leaving the EU would reduce our immigration fears had both been retracted, it makes me worry that politics is just becoming a game where you can say whatever you want without being accountable for it.
This became startlingly clear with the murder of Jo Cox, where the fear and hatred being stirred up by the debates were being used to gain votes without a second thought that these feelings were being internalised by millions.
This brings me to why I decided to put these thoughts on my blog about moving and living in America. There is a similar pattern of mis-truths and false reporting going on in the presidential election, with an ever increasing fear that Donald Trump could end up as leader of this country. Again, it won't be for anyone to throw insults or complain about the democratic process if he wins, but it will mark a divergence in the vision for America. Hillary will continue the liberal legacy of Obama and those before him, whilst Trump makes the world a smaller, more suspicious and less trusting place.
I hope that the Democrats look at what happened last night and learn the lessons. There are lots of angry, frightened people out there who need to be listened to and convinced that voting Trump isn't an appropriate way of "sticking it to the man". I hope that the election campaign doesn't run on fear, mis-truths and mudslinging. I hope not to feel the sadness and desperation that I feel now.
I hope all of these things as once again I will be a spectator in the democratic process, watching and listening without speaking.
Friday 24 June 2016
Sunday 12 June 2016
21st century homesteading - part 1
One of the big drivers for me moving to the USA is the idea that I could move towards self-sufficiency in terms of growing my own food. Regular followers of my blogs might recall my lack of success growing a pineapple in Yorkshire, and my previous garden wasn't conducive to growing more than moss and an enormous rose bush. So I start on my homestead dreams with little in the way of experience, but lots in the way of manpower, enthusiasm and people willing to help me on the way.
I've forayed recently into growing veg and herbs in a ready made garden (thanks to Karyn) and learned a lot about planting distances, mulching and the use of black plastic. Only 3 plants (out of several dozen) have failed to transplant successfully, and the carrots, basil and sunflower that we're growing directly from seeds are all growing well, apart from the sunflower seeds that were eaten by animals unknown one night. We've bought some floating covers to put over the rest for protection, so we'll see how they progress.
I'm constantly in awe of the fact that you can put stuff in the ground, give it some dead stuff (compost) and water, and the seeds just do their thing, providing us with things that we can eat.
Today marks the biggest project that I've embarked on independently (or as independently as possible). Jake has been fanatical about watermelon from a young age, and for some reason it just tastes better and juicier over here, so naturally when we found plants at the world's most amazing garden shop, we bought one. Watermelons apparently need a lot of room to grow (they recommend 6 feet(!) between plants) and the vines can grow around 1 foot a week...yikes!
We didn't have space to do this in any of our current garden beds, so I made a new garden (the benefits of having 17 acres of land is you can just repurpose land as you see fit). It was a guided adventure, with plenty of advice and support from Dan and Karyn, but it was still easily one of the satisfying things that I've ever done. I'm documenting it here because a) this will be the basis of my future homesteading so I want to remember how to do it and b) I'm seriously proud of what I produced. Whether it makes any watermelons, and whether they're edible or not, will be another question, but one that is sort of beside the point. Cue photos!
I've forayed recently into growing veg and herbs in a ready made garden (thanks to Karyn) and learned a lot about planting distances, mulching and the use of black plastic. Only 3 plants (out of several dozen) have failed to transplant successfully, and the carrots, basil and sunflower that we're growing directly from seeds are all growing well, apart from the sunflower seeds that were eaten by animals unknown one night. We've bought some floating covers to put over the rest for protection, so we'll see how they progress.
I'm constantly in awe of the fact that you can put stuff in the ground, give it some dead stuff (compost) and water, and the seeds just do their thing, providing us with things that we can eat.
Today marks the biggest project that I've embarked on independently (or as independently as possible). Jake has been fanatical about watermelon from a young age, and for some reason it just tastes better and juicier over here, so naturally when we found plants at the world's most amazing garden shop, we bought one. Watermelons apparently need a lot of room to grow (they recommend 6 feet(!) between plants) and the vines can grow around 1 foot a week...yikes!
We didn't have space to do this in any of our current garden beds, so I made a new garden (the benefits of having 17 acres of land is you can just repurpose land as you see fit). It was a guided adventure, with plenty of advice and support from Dan and Karyn, but it was still easily one of the satisfying things that I've ever done. I'm documenting it here because a) this will be the basis of my future homesteading so I want to remember how to do it and b) I'm seriously proud of what I produced. Whether it makes any watermelons, and whether they're edible or not, will be another question, but one that is sort of beside the point. Cue photos!
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| The start (not this particular patch, but I forgot to take a "before" photo! |
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| Step 1 - rototill on the R setting. Measure out the area first so you know where to go, and make sure that each pass overlaps the previous for better coverage. |
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| Clear out all the grass. This is time consuming and works better if you have some sort of sieve (I used a plastic bucket with holes in) and someone like Jake to talk to. This was the best part of my day, if not my entire time here, spending an hour with my hands in the dirt and my delightful son chatting away and "helping" |
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| Rototill again, this time on the L setting. The soil should be much looser after the first pass and the grass sifting. Rake through to clear out any missed clumps of grass, rocks and other debris. |
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| Add compost or similar. We also added a whole pack of peat moss and spread it around. Again, a helpful four year old with their own garden tools makes this a lot more fun. |
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| Add loam. In the end, we had about 5 buckets worth. A big tractor helps here. |
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| Once everything is all piled up, give it a mix and roughly spread it out. Don't make it too perfect as you'll want to add the ties in around the edge. |
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| Measure out the area, preferably by using the length of one tie (in this case, 12 feet) as a guide to make things easy. If you need to make some shorter, find a helpful man with a chainsaw. Make sure they are all level, which can mean digging around and straightening out for a while. Keep at it, because it looks good when they're all in the right place. You can fill in underneath and around with the mixed up dirt. |
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| Almost finished! Try to have the corners overlapping so you can screw them together (important when your four year old likes to walk along and balance on them! |
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| One last rototill, made easier by a smiling baby on your back. Watch out for the ties if you haven't screwed them in yet! |
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| Completed! Just need to plant up the watermelons now (more of which in another post perhaps) |
Daycare
With Kelsey starting a new job and me filling my weeks with some 1:1 SEN work and training for September, we've now got the kids into daycare (though part of my brain still insists on calling it nursery from time to time!). At the very basics, there's a lot of similarities between here and the UK as it's a service designed for small children ranging from babies up till school age, so the focus still remains on social skills, following rules and routines and (for Jake at least) a gentle introduction to letters, words and numbers. However, there are some differences with our daycare that I want to look at (NB: some of these will be particular to the experiences we had with our particular daycare in Leeds, some may be more widespread)
Outside space
This one I know is particular to our nursery in Leeds, which was in an industrial area of the city, and whilst there was a little muddy patch outback, there was only a small space to play outside. This used to be tarmac, but got covered by outside carpet, and whilst it did the trick, the combination of small space and poor weather meant it didn't get used that much. At our new daycare, they spend most of the time outside, even if when it's poor weather (no such thing as poor weather, just poor preparation!). There's lots of little sections, including a little forest of trees perfect for climbing, a massive sandy area (which Sophie loves) and a small obstacle course. The effect is that whenever I pick up Jake, he's running around playing some of creative game with his friends, and this for me ticks one of the boxes for why we moved over here (to give the kids an outside lifestyle).
Cost
This is one aspect that has made us gasp a little. We looked at 4 places, and chose one that best matched our needs for location, quality of provision and cost. Now, I think we got lucky in the UK as we had a teacher's contract, so we only paid 75% of the fees as Jake was only in for 75% of the time, and we had a year or so of 15 free hours, and we had pre-tax childcare vouchers to help cut costs. Even so, it felt like we were getting a good deal. However, here we have 2 kids and no discounts, so we're paying what feels like an eye-watering amount. Fortunately, we only have a year (!) till Jake goes to kindergarten and I'm pretty sure there's some sort of tax credit help out there. Watch this space.
Resources
What doesn't help with mentally dealing with the cost of the provision (or tuition as it's called) is that nothing is included with it. We have been used to diapers and wipes being provided when Jake was small, and all food and drink being cooked on site (meaning that we'd rarely pick him up before 4.30 so he could eat a proper tea there!). Here, nothing. We have to send Sophie in with food, diapers and wipes, and Jake with a packed lunch each day, and we end up playing up safe with both of them to make sure that they'll eat during the day (as well as having to remember to pack bottles for Sophie's formula...only forgot them once!). We're getting used to the routine of emptying and restocking their lunches the night before, but there's part of me that is annoyed that we're paying such a large amount of money and have to provide these resources too.
Parent contact
This is another area where I feel that we've got an improvement. Information at pick up at our old day care would very much depend on who was around and whether that person had seen Jake in action at all. It would always be "he's had a good day", but some of the stories that Jake would tell on the way home about being hit or getting in trouble would have been better coming from an adult so we could follow up from home. Here, Jake's teacher is on site at the end of the day and will take the time to talk me through what he's been up to. Fortunately, there seems to be a lot of less rough and tumble and the bruises on Jake's legs are coming from falling off things. Sophie's communication is fantastic. Around 5pm (so as I'm driving home with them), I get a detailed email about her day, including the precise timings of naps and nappy changes, and what and when she ate. This is a huge bonus as I can tell when she'll be ready to eat, how tired she'll be and what to pack her for lunch the next day. For both of them, we have given photo permission to the daycare which means that most days, I get a photo sent to my phone of my kids in action. Now, I'm not a nervous parent, and I fully trust the daycare staff to love, care for and nurture my kids, but when Sophie cries when I drop her off, something inside me breaks, and it's really tough to walk out of the door instead of scooping her up and taking her with me. I know it's good for her, and the photos I get sent of her smiling and playing make the drop off process a whole lot easier.
Overall, though, it's a positive experience! The kids are making friends and coming home tired enough to sleep all night (especially Sophie!). We've already had one birthday party invitation, and there's a party for the kids leaving the daycare next week, which will be a good opportunity to meet some other parents and start making some new friends over here.
Outside space
This one I know is particular to our nursery in Leeds, which was in an industrial area of the city, and whilst there was a little muddy patch outback, there was only a small space to play outside. This used to be tarmac, but got covered by outside carpet, and whilst it did the trick, the combination of small space and poor weather meant it didn't get used that much. At our new daycare, they spend most of the time outside, even if when it's poor weather (no such thing as poor weather, just poor preparation!). There's lots of little sections, including a little forest of trees perfect for climbing, a massive sandy area (which Sophie loves) and a small obstacle course. The effect is that whenever I pick up Jake, he's running around playing some of creative game with his friends, and this for me ticks one of the boxes for why we moved over here (to give the kids an outside lifestyle).
Cost
This is one aspect that has made us gasp a little. We looked at 4 places, and chose one that best matched our needs for location, quality of provision and cost. Now, I think we got lucky in the UK as we had a teacher's contract, so we only paid 75% of the fees as Jake was only in for 75% of the time, and we had a year or so of 15 free hours, and we had pre-tax childcare vouchers to help cut costs. Even so, it felt like we were getting a good deal. However, here we have 2 kids and no discounts, so we're paying what feels like an eye-watering amount. Fortunately, we only have a year (!) till Jake goes to kindergarten and I'm pretty sure there's some sort of tax credit help out there. Watch this space.
Resources
What doesn't help with mentally dealing with the cost of the provision (or tuition as it's called) is that nothing is included with it. We have been used to diapers and wipes being provided when Jake was small, and all food and drink being cooked on site (meaning that we'd rarely pick him up before 4.30 so he could eat a proper tea there!). Here, nothing. We have to send Sophie in with food, diapers and wipes, and Jake with a packed lunch each day, and we end up playing up safe with both of them to make sure that they'll eat during the day (as well as having to remember to pack bottles for Sophie's formula...only forgot them once!). We're getting used to the routine of emptying and restocking their lunches the night before, but there's part of me that is annoyed that we're paying such a large amount of money and have to provide these resources too.
Parent contact
This is another area where I feel that we've got an improvement. Information at pick up at our old day care would very much depend on who was around and whether that person had seen Jake in action at all. It would always be "he's had a good day", but some of the stories that Jake would tell on the way home about being hit or getting in trouble would have been better coming from an adult so we could follow up from home. Here, Jake's teacher is on site at the end of the day and will take the time to talk me through what he's been up to. Fortunately, there seems to be a lot of less rough and tumble and the bruises on Jake's legs are coming from falling off things. Sophie's communication is fantastic. Around 5pm (so as I'm driving home with them), I get a detailed email about her day, including the precise timings of naps and nappy changes, and what and when she ate. This is a huge bonus as I can tell when she'll be ready to eat, how tired she'll be and what to pack her for lunch the next day. For both of them, we have given photo permission to the daycare which means that most days, I get a photo sent to my phone of my kids in action. Now, I'm not a nervous parent, and I fully trust the daycare staff to love, care for and nurture my kids, but when Sophie cries when I drop her off, something inside me breaks, and it's really tough to walk out of the door instead of scooping her up and taking her with me. I know it's good for her, and the photos I get sent of her smiling and playing make the drop off process a whole lot easier.
Overall, though, it's a positive experience! The kids are making friends and coming home tired enough to sleep all night (especially Sophie!). We've already had one birthday party invitation, and there's a party for the kids leaving the daycare next week, which will be a good opportunity to meet some other parents and start making some new friends over here.
Thursday 2 June 2016
State of the Union - 50 days in
As with all new experiences, time seems to have picked up speed in the last couple of weeks, bringing up an important milestone of 50 days. Most government administrations release a press statement after 100 days in charge, but I'm too impatient, so I'll do one now and one then too. Beyond the important news of both of us getting jobs and the kids starting daycare, there's lots of smaller changes happening here too that I wanted to record:
Sophie Is On The Move
For those of you who knew Jake as a little kid, you'll remember with fondness the bum shuffling and the abrupt decision to stand up and walk by himself. Sophie shows signs of being very different to her brother in lots of ways, most notably that she's always been happy with tummy time and has started crawling army-style. This has led to the first cry of "Daddy, Pophins is taking my cars!", first of many I think! It's very cute to watch her move around and even start to push herself up ready to start cruising. A very different experience to Jake but equally as fascinating.
A New Car
Today has seen us drive home in a brand new car, and not just one that is brand new to us. Jake even commented on the smell of it, and I've never driven in something so clean. Annoyingly, Kelsey is the only one with a valid US license for insurance purposes, so we've had to leave me off for now, meaning that I only get to be a passenger. It's still pretty sweet though, with built in satellite radio and back up camera, but the best thing is it's a hybrid, meaning that I get to watch us drive around for free on the electric engine. Now comes the fun part of registering it and getting our own vanity plates - cheap at $40 per year!
Doggie Decisions
In amongst all of the excitement and happiness of the previous 50 days lies a moment of sadness. Hayden, the beloved family black lab, suddenly and unexpectedly passed away one Sunday morning. His loss is still being felt all round, most particularly by Brody (the other dog and his constant companion) and Jake, who describes him as his best friend, and who still talks about him several times a day. It was a crash course in dealing with grief and death for Jake, and for us, and he still talks about him daily. We've found the best approach is to let him talk, acknowledge his feelings and let him know that we're missing Hayden too. The family are also looking at getting another dog as a companion to Brody, who is slowly going stir-crazy by himself all day. Watch this space!
Weekend Routines
It's always interesting hearing another person's point of view on the same events, and so it proves to be when talking to Dan and Karyn (Kelsey's parents) about our move over. There's always a slight concern that we're imposing on them (with 2 small kids, their calm and tidy house has certainly changed somewhat since our arrival), but we are regularly assured that they take as much pleasure in us being here as we do.
This is particularly evident at the weekend, when both of them get to fulfill some of their grandparent dreams. Dan packs up the "Papa truck" with the recycling, loads Jake's car seat and they disappear to the dump and the baseball fields. This usually involves a smackerel along the way somewhere too, but even so, Jake is always keen to go, especially now that Dan allows him to sit on his lap and "drive" up the driveway.
Karyn has always been a big reader, so now that Jake is really into books, she takes delight in taking him to the library and getting a fresh set of books. This tends to involve a big reading session when they get home, going through each and every book. For me, it's a great way of keeping the bedtime stories fresh (even though we've now got all of Kelsey's childhood books to add to our selected favourites), and we're all impressed at how Jake keep tracks of who has read him which book at bed time.
Learning To Homestead
One of the biggest draws of America, for me at least, is being able to have enough space to start my own homestead. I've affectionately called this my "hippie commune" dream for years, and whilst I know I wont get close to being entirely self-sufficient, I want to live off what I grow as much as possible. To this end, I've got a lot to learn, given that my gardening experience so far has been a failed attempt to grow Yorkshire pineapples and some successful mint growing (and a heck of a lot of moss!). This weekend saw me (and Jake) help plant out the vegetables and herbs for the summer, and I've found heaven on earth at Wentworth's garden centre. It smells amazing and sells pre-grown seedlings of just about anything you could wish for.
The more interesting part of learning to homestead is the bee keeping course I attended a couple of weeks back. It was run by a fascinating woman who works on "permaculture" principles, which boils down to organic, pesticide free farming. It's definitely something I want to get in too, so my mother-in-law and I will be going to "bee school" in the autumn, with a view of getting bees in January of next year. It's great having someone else's garden to practice on!
I've also been talking to the assistant prinicipal at my school who has a big orchard with plenty of maple trees. Her husband has started a sugar shack to create maple syrup, and again this is something that sounds pretty fun (if not a large amount of effort!).
All of these things tick the box of "living the dream" an I know I'll be able to bring the family with me on these adventures as we take pleasure in eating food that was made in our very own garden.
The first 50 days have been an absolute rollercoaster, but a definite confirmation that home for me is where Kelsey, Jake and Sophie (and Hobbes) are. No matter what bit of life admin we're up to, I can always take a break to enjoy the trees and sunshine with them all.
Sophie Is On The Move
For those of you who knew Jake as a little kid, you'll remember with fondness the bum shuffling and the abrupt decision to stand up and walk by himself. Sophie shows signs of being very different to her brother in lots of ways, most notably that she's always been happy with tummy time and has started crawling army-style. This has led to the first cry of "Daddy, Pophins is taking my cars!", first of many I think! It's very cute to watch her move around and even start to push herself up ready to start cruising. A very different experience to Jake but equally as fascinating.
A New Car
Today has seen us drive home in a brand new car, and not just one that is brand new to us. Jake even commented on the smell of it, and I've never driven in something so clean. Annoyingly, Kelsey is the only one with a valid US license for insurance purposes, so we've had to leave me off for now, meaning that I only get to be a passenger. It's still pretty sweet though, with built in satellite radio and back up camera, but the best thing is it's a hybrid, meaning that I get to watch us drive around for free on the electric engine. Now comes the fun part of registering it and getting our own vanity plates - cheap at $40 per year!
Doggie Decisions
In amongst all of the excitement and happiness of the previous 50 days lies a moment of sadness. Hayden, the beloved family black lab, suddenly and unexpectedly passed away one Sunday morning. His loss is still being felt all round, most particularly by Brody (the other dog and his constant companion) and Jake, who describes him as his best friend, and who still talks about him several times a day. It was a crash course in dealing with grief and death for Jake, and for us, and he still talks about him daily. We've found the best approach is to let him talk, acknowledge his feelings and let him know that we're missing Hayden too. The family are also looking at getting another dog as a companion to Brody, who is slowly going stir-crazy by himself all day. Watch this space!
Weekend Routines
It's always interesting hearing another person's point of view on the same events, and so it proves to be when talking to Dan and Karyn (Kelsey's parents) about our move over. There's always a slight concern that we're imposing on them (with 2 small kids, their calm and tidy house has certainly changed somewhat since our arrival), but we are regularly assured that they take as much pleasure in us being here as we do.
This is particularly evident at the weekend, when both of them get to fulfill some of their grandparent dreams. Dan packs up the "Papa truck" with the recycling, loads Jake's car seat and they disappear to the dump and the baseball fields. This usually involves a smackerel along the way somewhere too, but even so, Jake is always keen to go, especially now that Dan allows him to sit on his lap and "drive" up the driveway.
Karyn has always been a big reader, so now that Jake is really into books, she takes delight in taking him to the library and getting a fresh set of books. This tends to involve a big reading session when they get home, going through each and every book. For me, it's a great way of keeping the bedtime stories fresh (even though we've now got all of Kelsey's childhood books to add to our selected favourites), and we're all impressed at how Jake keep tracks of who has read him which book at bed time.
Learning To Homestead
One of the biggest draws of America, for me at least, is being able to have enough space to start my own homestead. I've affectionately called this my "hippie commune" dream for years, and whilst I know I wont get close to being entirely self-sufficient, I want to live off what I grow as much as possible. To this end, I've got a lot to learn, given that my gardening experience so far has been a failed attempt to grow Yorkshire pineapples and some successful mint growing (and a heck of a lot of moss!). This weekend saw me (and Jake) help plant out the vegetables and herbs for the summer, and I've found heaven on earth at Wentworth's garden centre. It smells amazing and sells pre-grown seedlings of just about anything you could wish for.
The more interesting part of learning to homestead is the bee keeping course I attended a couple of weeks back. It was run by a fascinating woman who works on "permaculture" principles, which boils down to organic, pesticide free farming. It's definitely something I want to get in too, so my mother-in-law and I will be going to "bee school" in the autumn, with a view of getting bees in January of next year. It's great having someone else's garden to practice on!
I've also been talking to the assistant prinicipal at my school who has a big orchard with plenty of maple trees. Her husband has started a sugar shack to create maple syrup, and again this is something that sounds pretty fun (if not a large amount of effort!).
All of these things tick the box of "living the dream" an I know I'll be able to bring the family with me on these adventures as we take pleasure in eating food that was made in our very own garden.
The first 50 days have been an absolute rollercoaster, but a definite confirmation that home for me is where Kelsey, Jake and Sophie (and Hobbes) are. No matter what bit of life admin we're up to, I can always take a break to enjoy the trees and sunshine with them all.
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