Lasts and goodbyes

I've always found it hard to say goodbye to people, even if I know I'll see them in a week or two. My wife has taken to giving me an extra 15 minutes before we need to leave somewhere as she knows I'll mess around before having to take my leave.

This habit will become even harder to break over the next few months, as we enter the time of "lasts" and goodbyes. There are some things that I know will be the last time it happens (or at least the last time for the forseeable future) and we can actively plan for them. For example, over the Christmas holidays we went to see Sheffield Wednesday play, and given that we're only likely to be back in the UK in the summer months, it's likely that we've done our last Hillsborough trip. Fortunately it was a good noisy game with a satisfying home win. There are others, like going to the Lake District with our good friends Matt and Vicky, where it's unlikely to be a last time given our communal love for the region, but it was the last time that we will have been able to easily pick up and go for a quick overnight visit when they're staying there. Then there will be some "lasts" that I won't realise were lasts until we're gone, or that we won't be able to make happen again. It's this last category that bothers me, but I guess that if I'm not consciously aware of it being a last, then I won't notice that it was one for a while.

There is then the horrible prospects of goodbyes with our friends and family here. We have given an open invitation to anyone and everyone we know to come and visit us out in the states, and we are fortunate to know enough people with the time and means to do so that we'll be able to share our new life with our English friends. However, we aren't planning on returning to the UK till summer 2017 at the earliest, so there will come a time for each person over the next few months when we will have to say goodbye, and I think my wife will need to give me more than an additional 15 minutes to do so. This was brought home last night by the visit of our good friend Nicola, who is moving to Australia next week for a couple of years. However, her timing (she's getting married in May of next year) combined with ours led to me to the very sad realisation that we might not see her for 2 or 3 years, by which point she'll be a Mrs, Jake will be 6 and in school and Sophie walking and talking and causing havoc. Who knows, we may even have a puppy by then. In any case, life will be very different then for all of us. Admittedly, we see Nicola infrequently as she moved down to London a number of years ago, but she always made the effort to come to visit when she came back to Yorkshire, so it will feel strange only having an online friendship with her for the months to come.

The world is becoming a smaller place with the prevalence of free video call software, and apps that allow you to send as many pictures, videos and voice messages as you want. For my other (more geeky) friends, there are also numerous ways to get our board game fixes online. However, it's not a replacement for the warmth of face to face friendship, the quick fire banter that you can't get with a time lag or the simple pleasure of catching up over a cup of strength 6 coffee.

That's why, when I know it's going to be a last with someone, I will always make the time and effort to make it worthwhile, to fill the memory banks up until the time comes when we can create new ones together.