Reminders

I struggled to come up with a suitable title for this post. I wanted to talk about a couple of things this last week that have made me think about the UK, and I would normally think about this as being homesick. However, that's the wrong word because I don't particularly miss the UK (the people there for sure) and being homesick implies that we're here temporarily, to return one day. While that may be true down the line, we've set up home here and the UK is now somewhere we'll visit on holiday, rather somewhere to return back to. Therefore, I can't be homesick in the traditional sense of the word. This is why I chose "reminders" as these things reminded of our life in the UK and made me smile in remembrance.

The first was a British tea party hosted by one of my new friends at school. For clarification, the tea party was held by an American with a strong British affiliation, and the decor and little touches were fantastic, right down to the white bread cucumber sandwiches with the crusts cut off. However, the reminder that stirred me was the sausage rolls. There's something visceral about pastry and meat together, but had you asked me before to name a food that I missed from the UK, it wouldn't have immediately come to mind. However, as soon as I bit through the puff pastry, my mind raced 3000 miles away into Greggs, and I realized that good sausage rolls and pasties would be hard to come by over here.

The second reminder came as part of a long winded saga with our new doctor's practice over here. We've been trying to catch up Sophie's immunisations since she turned one, but trying to convince them to use the little red book that everyone gets in the UK with their baby has been hard. I ended up having to call our doctor's surgery in Leeds and was greeted by a lass with a broad Yorkshire accent. Now, I've had to make calls to the UK before, but always ended up in some Scottish/London/Indian call centre. I've also talked to my friends and families multiple times, but there's something instantly soothing and smile-making about the Yorkshire accent. It made me smile for the rest of the day, and I had to use my best Yorkshire voice when relaying the story to my wife.

There will be more reminders as the months and years go by over here, and each of them will make me remember different parts of our life in the UK, and hopefully each one will make me smile as much as the first two.

21st Century Homesteading - some lessons learned

With only a week left of the summer vacation (or "my relaxed life in America" as I've learned to call it), the garden here is also starting to wind down. We recently picked the last of the cukes, zucchini and summer squash, the basil has gone and the sunflowers all now have their heads. The tomatoes and peppers are still going strong, so we've still got some picking left, but I wanted to record some things I've learned to think about for my own patch next year.

1. Grow what you like

This year, we've grown lots of different vegetables, most of which I like to eat, but some, like the summer squash, I've not been a big fan of. Now admittedly it's not my garden, so I've been very much under the guidance of Kelsey's mother who has her own preferences, but for next year, I want to make sure that I'm excited to eat everything that comes off the land. Next year, I definitely want to be a position to make a meal fully out of the garden, so that will involve growing my own onions, garlic and salad leaves, as well as the tomato, basil, cukes and zucchini from this year.

2. Grow what you need

Today I put the final pieces of zucchini into some zucchini bread (my best effort yet!), and whilst it's been a tasty adventure through many zucchini recipes (including zucchini spaghetti with a spiralizer - tomato based sauces only!), we've still had throw multiple ones in the compost because we couldn't eat/use them quick enough. Whilst there's no official food wastage involved as they'll simply get reused to kick start next year's crop, there's part of me that cringes about throwing away good food.

The difficult here is that they tend to sell the seedlings in 4 packs, and whilst they don't look big and intimidating in the garden centre, each zucchini plant spread around 6 feet in diameter. Multiply this by a similar spread from the cukes and summer squash and suddenly the 300ish square feet of garden becomes much smaller. Whether the answer is to discard those that we don't need, or find other keen gardeners to take the unwanted seedlings, I'm not sure, but I do know that I want to maximise the efficiency of the lot next year.

3. Keep pictures of the final product

I was incredibly excited to discover that I could grow fresh chillies outside here, as the temperature gets hot enough for most varieties to grow to full height. My friend Matt wages an annual war in his greenhouse to make them grow, so having them as a simple part of my garden has been satisfying. However, I've run into problems as whilst I know what a ripe tomato or zucchini is meant to look like, there's at least two species of chilli out there that I only know by name, and I'm not sure when I should be picking them. Pictures on the internet are ok, but when the shade difference is from light green to yellow, it's hard. For some, however, my wife's mother put the label that came with the seedlings into the ground, and this has made it easier to recognise the fruit and when it's ready to be picked. Whether I keep the tags inside or out next year, I want to make sure I recognise the ripe goods when I see them.

4. Soil composition

We've had a particular problem with end rot in the zucchini and summer squash plants this year, and a couple of the tomato plants withered a fair bit before bearing fruit. All our research points to a lack of nutrients in the soil. This may be because there's a lot of big plants growing together, or that there's been a chronic lack of rain this year in New Hampshire, or simply that the soil is old and needs refreshing. In any case, I want to start my research early about the soil preferences of each of the vegetables that I want to grow so that I can prepare my fresh beds with the optimum composition of minerals and natural fertilisers.

5. Keep it organic

I've never really understood/thought about the organic movement in any great detail until we started discussing the vegetable patch this year. My wife's mother is a great proponent of pesticide free gardening and I've bought wholesale into this idea. Not only does it mean that the kids can eat straight off the plants, but it will help with our bee keeping project next year. It does mean a bit more time watching out for bugs and finding natural fertilisers for the soil, but it fits with my homesteading ideals, so it will be coming with me next year.

As we wade through chilis and tomatoes over the next month, think of me with a massive smile on my face each time I make a bolognese with just a few less ingredients from a supermarket.

State of the union - 100 days

As we fall into routines and patterns, the number of days becomes less important and whilst we still count ourselves in "phase 2" (with jobs but no house yet), the rhythm of life definitely feels more familiar as we start "phase 3" (house hunting). However, this Sunday marked the 100th day here (which seems crazy, given that the longest holiday we'd ever spent here was 43 days), and I've been meaning to celebrate it with a general update, and probably some photos on Facebook. Everyone is out tonight, so with a bowl of Goldfish crackers on one side, a beer on the other and the Red Sox crushing the Minnesota Twins on the TV, let's go through the family.

Sophie

Let's start with the smallest. Sophie turned 1 in June (I need to write and back date her letter!) and is slowly revealing her personality to us. She has an infectious giggle and the most charming, engaging smile that I've seen. After Jake, who was always slightly suspicious of strangers (and still is to an extent), she will smile and gurgle at anyone, and the combination of her big grin and crazy curls means that she makes friends wherever she goes. She's learned to crawl at fast pace (watch out Marlowe and Brody!) and is currently climbing up and pulling herself up on everything. Walking is not far away at all, and it's crazy to see her small little body getting ready to move.

Jake

Jake becomes a young boy with every passing day. Whilst he's only grown half an inch since we arrived (I measured) he seems taller and bigger than that. It might be that he's that much more confident, or that much more happy or just that spending so much time out in the sunshine and fresh air is stretching him. In any case, he is turning into a much more friendly and socialable kid with other people. We went to see the cats on the farm (not a euphemism!) and he chatted and went with the farm owner who he had never met before. We also went to a birthday party a while back and it was delightful to watch him play with his friends from daycare, freeing me up to make some friends of my own. He's also becoming a book worm, easily wrangling two or three books a night out of anyone who will read to him (including Nana checking in him whilst Kelsey and I were out!), and I leave him each night reading a book to Hobbes. It's such a sweet routine, and I can't wait for him to start being able to read (he picked out something with his name on the other day, so the process is starting).

Kelsey

Kelsey is quickly getting up to speed with her new job. It's quite an intense role, attempting to integrate new Americans and refugees into the school system. The organisation that she's working for seems to be a little chaotic, but I can see her making changes to make it all more efficient. The "so today at work" stories continue, but tend to be about crazy kids rather than work colleagues making her life difficult. It's a trek across to Concord each day, and her summer schedule has her working long hours. We're hoping that it will calm down when schools starts, but it may be a while before she's can do the routines quickly.

Me

As for me, I'm loving being out here. My job starts up properly in September, but I've filled my summer with some summer school work and a whole bunch of training. My school district is part of some big educational changes (more of this in another post when I've got my head more fully around it) and it's an exciting time to be a teacher in Kingston. My parents arrive in New Hampshire next weekend for a family holiday in Ossippee, which is going to be fantastic to see everyone! They're then with just us for a week, including a game at Fenway Park with my dad (very excited, the tickets have already arrived!), so whilst I'm officially on summer vacation, my schedule is booked up until school starts.

We have the periodic conversation about whether we made the right decision. I honestly don't think that the move could have been any better. It still feels like an adventure, and our recent decision to actively start looking for houses (seen 5 so far, with no hits) brings the exciting next phase as a close reality. That's when the real adventure will start.

Banking

I've had fairly few dealings with the American banking system over the years, mainly moving money from the UK to the US and adding myself to Kelsey's account. However, being here permanently means a more intensive relationship and working out how processes happen over here. Some things are great, some things are annoying and some things are just downright amusing:

The Great

As with most things over here, the customer service that I've received has been uniformly helpful, cheerful and quick. I've not had to wait more than 5 minutes on the phone and in the banks I feel like a valued customer. It's been easy to set things up, like savings accounts and, surprisingly, a credit card. Whilst I have no credit here, they know me from having an account here, and that combined with my visa status was enough to get me past the credit checks. The online banking here is much quicker than in the UK, with payments appearing on my statement within minutes of being made (meaning I can call Kelsey to ask her why she spent $43 at the pet store, and other such fun conversations!). You can pay checks in using an app, an invention that makes so much sense in an age where banks refuse to change their opening hours to suit people who also work 9 - 5. Finally, let me talk about drive up ATMs. Just about everything has a drive thru (sic) here, so it makes sense that banks do the same. It's such a better system than having to find somewhere to park up and run in to get some cash.

The Annoying

The main downside that I've found with the American banking system is that there is a fee attached to everything. Often times, you can avoid these by meeting certain criteria, or doing things in a different way, but you have to read the small print and think carefully about what you're doing. For example, withdrawing money from an ATM that belongs to your bank is fine and free, but try using another system and not only will you be hit with a fee from their bank for the privilege, but you also incur one from your own bank for sending the money. I never realised how useful the LINK system in the UK actually was! Other fees include not paying a set amount into your account each month, ordering a check book (again, I didn't realise how good it was to have free checks in the UK!) and trying to send payments to people online.

The Amusing

This last point gets me onto to a discovery that I made last week that I still can't quite get my head around. We pay for Jake and Sophie's daycare by check each week (and weep when we do over the cost of it), but since I have to pay for each check book, I decided to see if I could do it online. In the UK, this is a simple and free process to set up a standing order, and most of my payments and bills were made this way. I logged onto to my banking here and lo and behold there is a process called BillPay that allows you to do this. However, when I went to set up the payment, I couldn't find anywhere to enter the account details. I could enter their address however, so I went ahead and did it. It didn't quite seem right to me, so I called up (on hold for less than 1 minute!) and discussed it with the bank. Apparently what happens here is that they will send a check out on my behalf (they can verify my signature from the times when I've been in the bank in person) to the nursery. For free. However, it costs between $3 and $10 to transfer money online, without the need for checks, printing and postage costs. I still don't get how this is cost efficient for the bank, but in the meantime I'll be making use of it.

Next step in my banking adventure is to see how getting a mortgage stacks up - more on this in another post!

Voting

This started as a Facebook post, but a) it will be waaay too long for most people to read on there and b) it touches and mingles on some other issues that I think belong better on this blog instead. 

So let's start with the EU referendum. One major source of frustration is that whilst I followed all the rules for registering for a postal vote, and it was officially handed to the Royal Mail in time, I didn't receive it. Despite nagging, querying and chasing, I ended up without a say in the most important vote of a generation. I feel gutted by this, not because it would have made a difference, but because without a vote, there's no point in living in a democracy. Hopefully it will be resolved by the next vote. 

Onto the Brexit outcome. I've seen a couple of my friends on Facebook post thought-provoking items about how, in essence, last night was democracy in action and we should start to learn how to live with the decision, so we shouldn't be sad or frustrated and definitely shouldn't be hurling abuse at the supporters of the other side. I agree with these sentiments entirely, but I still can't get rid of the sadness that the result implies to me. My sister posted this article from the Guardian: http://bit.ly/296Awev which accepts the results but puts into words my sadness:

"We are also diminished. Our politics are poisoned, our discourse is fragile, our leaders are discredited. Facts ceased to matter, knowledge ceased to be valued, compassion appeared to evaporate. As large majorities for one side or the other racked up in various parts of the country it became clear that for many of us, beyond our families, we didn’t just disagree with the other side. We literally didn’t know them. Britain is not greater for this decision and this campaign but smaller, weaker and more vulnerable."

The rest of the article is well written and thoughtful, but this section stuck out to me. The Brexit vote may work out or it may catastrophically fail. In either case, we are a country divided, with over half willing to sacrifice the rest on the basis of mis-represented truths and perceptions.

When Michael Gove was allowed to say "people are fed up of listening to experts" without condemnation or judgement, it makes me worry for our future as a species. When within 2 hours of the referendum result, the claims on £350 million being spent on the NHS instead of the EU and that leaving the EU would reduce our immigration fears had both been retracted, it makes me worry that politics is just becoming a game where you can say whatever you want without being accountable for it.

This became startlingly clear with the murder of Jo Cox, where the fear and hatred being stirred up by the debates were being used to gain votes without a second thought that these feelings were being internalised by millions.

This brings me to why I decided to put these thoughts on my blog about moving and living in America. There is a similar pattern of mis-truths and false reporting going on in the presidential election, with an ever increasing fear that Donald Trump could end up as leader of this country. Again, it won't be for anyone to throw insults or complain about the democratic process if he wins, but it will mark a divergence in the vision for America. Hillary will continue the liberal legacy of Obama and those before him, whilst Trump makes the world a smaller, more suspicious and less trusting place.

I hope that the Democrats look at what happened last night and learn the lessons. There are lots of angry, frightened people out there who need to be listened to and convinced that voting Trump isn't an appropriate way of "sticking it to the man". I hope that the election campaign doesn't run on fear, mis-truths and mudslinging. I hope not to feel the sadness and desperation that I feel now.

I hope all of these things as once again I will be a spectator in the democratic process, watching and listening without speaking.

21st century homesteading - part 1

One of the big drivers for me moving to the USA is the idea that I could move towards self-sufficiency in terms of growing my own food. Regular followers of my blogs might recall my lack of success growing a pineapple in Yorkshire, and my previous garden wasn't conducive to growing more than moss and an enormous rose bush. So I start on my homestead dreams with little in the way of experience, but lots in the way of manpower, enthusiasm and people willing to help me on the way.

I've forayed recently into growing veg and herbs in a ready made garden (thanks to Karyn) and learned a lot about planting distances, mulching and the use of black plastic. Only 3 plants (out of several dozen) have failed to transplant successfully, and the carrots, basil and sunflower that we're growing directly from seeds are all growing well, apart from the sunflower seeds that were eaten by animals unknown one night. We've bought some floating covers to put over the rest for protection, so we'll see how they progress.

I'm constantly in awe of the fact that you can put stuff in the ground, give it some dead stuff (compost) and water, and the seeds just do their thing, providing us with things that we can eat.

Today marks the biggest project that I've embarked on independently (or as independently as possible). Jake has been fanatical about watermelon from a young age, and for some reason it just tastes better and juicier over here, so naturally when we found plants at the world's most amazing garden shop, we bought one. Watermelons apparently need a lot of room to grow (they recommend 6 feet(!) between plants) and the vines can grow around 1 foot a week...yikes!

We didn't have space to do this in any of our current garden beds, so I made a new garden (the benefits of having 17 acres of land is you can just repurpose land as you see fit). It was a guided adventure, with plenty of advice and support from Dan and Karyn, but it was still easily one of the satisfying things that I've ever done. I'm documenting it here because a) this will be the basis of my future homesteading so I want to remember how to do it and b) I'm seriously proud of what I produced. Whether it makes any watermelons, and whether they're edible or not, will be another question, but one that is sort of beside the point. Cue photos!

The start (not this particular patch, but I forgot to take a "before" photo!

Step 1 - rototill on the R setting. Measure out the area first so you know where to go, and make sure that each pass overlaps the previous for better coverage. 

Clear out all the grass. This is time consuming and works better if you have some sort of sieve (I used a plastic bucket with holes in) and someone like Jake to talk to. This was the best part of my day, if not my entire time here, spending an hour with my hands in the dirt and my delightful son chatting away and "helping"

Rototill again, this time on the L setting. The soil should be much looser after the first pass and the grass sifting. Rake through to clear out any missed clumps of grass, rocks and other debris.

Add compost or similar. We also added a whole pack of peat moss and spread it around. Again, a helpful four year old with their own garden tools makes this a lot more fun. 

Add loam. In the end, we had about 5 buckets worth. A big tractor helps here. 

Once everything is all piled up, give it a mix and roughly spread it out. Don't make it too perfect as you'll want to add the ties in around the edge. 

Measure out the area, preferably by using the length of one tie (in this case, 12 feet) as a guide to make things easy. If you need to make some shorter, find a helpful man with a chainsaw. Make sure they are all level, which can mean digging around and straightening out for a while. Keep at it, because it looks good when they're all in the right place. You can fill in underneath and around with the mixed up dirt. 

Almost finished! Try to have the corners overlapping so you can screw them together (important when your four year old likes to walk along and balance on them!

One last rototill, made easier by a smiling baby on your back. Watch out for the ties if you haven't screwed them in yet!

Completed! Just need to plant up the watermelons now (more of which in another post perhaps)

Daycare

With Kelsey starting a new job and me filling my weeks with some 1:1 SEN work and training for September, we've now got the kids into daycare (though part of my brain still insists on calling it nursery from time to time!). At the very basics, there's a lot of similarities between here and the UK as it's a service designed for small children ranging from babies up till school age, so the focus still remains on social skills, following rules and routines and (for Jake at least) a gentle introduction to letters, words and numbers. However, there are some differences with our daycare that I want to look at (NB: some of these will be particular to the experiences we had with our particular daycare in Leeds, some may be more widespread)

Outside space

This one I know is particular to our nursery in Leeds, which was in an industrial area of the city, and whilst there was a little muddy patch outback, there was only a small space to play outside. This used to be tarmac, but got covered by outside carpet, and whilst it did the trick, the combination of small space and poor weather meant it didn't get used that much. At our new daycare, they spend most of the time outside, even if when it's poor weather (no such thing as poor weather, just poor preparation!). There's lots of little sections, including a little forest of trees perfect for climbing, a massive sandy area (which Sophie loves) and a small obstacle course. The effect is that whenever I pick up Jake, he's running around playing some of creative game with his friends, and this for me ticks one of the boxes for why we moved over here (to give the kids an outside lifestyle).

Cost

This is one aspect that has made us gasp a little. We looked at 4 places, and chose one that best matched our needs for location, quality of provision and cost. Now, I think we got lucky in the UK as we had a teacher's contract, so we only paid 75% of the fees as Jake was only in for 75% of the time, and we had a year or so of 15 free hours, and we had pre-tax childcare vouchers to help cut costs. Even so, it felt like we were getting a good deal. However, here we have 2 kids and no discounts, so we're paying what feels like an eye-watering amount. Fortunately, we only have a year (!) till Jake goes to kindergarten and I'm pretty sure there's some sort of tax credit help out there. Watch this space.

Resources

What doesn't help with mentally dealing with the cost of the provision (or tuition as it's called) is that nothing is included with it. We have been used to diapers and wipes being provided when Jake was small, and all food and drink being cooked on site (meaning that we'd rarely pick him up before 4.30 so he could eat a proper tea there!). Here, nothing. We have to send Sophie in with food, diapers and wipes, and Jake with a packed lunch each day, and we end up playing up safe with both of them to make sure that they'll eat during the day (as well as having to remember to pack bottles for Sophie's formula...only forgot them once!). We're getting used to the routine of emptying and restocking their lunches the night before, but there's part of me that is annoyed that we're paying such a large amount of money and have to provide these resources too.

Parent contact

This is another area where I feel that we've got an improvement. Information at pick up at our old day care would very much depend on who was around and whether that person had seen Jake in action at all. It would always be "he's had a good day", but some of the stories that Jake would tell on the way home about being hit or getting in trouble would have been better coming from an adult so we could follow up from home. Here, Jake's teacher is on site at the end of the day and will take the time to talk me through what he's been up to. Fortunately, there seems to be a lot of less rough and tumble and the bruises on Jake's legs are coming from falling off things. Sophie's communication is fantastic. Around 5pm (so as I'm driving home with them), I get a detailed email about her day, including the precise timings of naps and nappy changes, and what and when she ate. This is a huge bonus as I can tell when she'll be ready to eat, how tired she'll be and what to pack her for lunch the next day. For both of them, we have given photo permission to the daycare which means that most days, I get a photo sent to my phone of my kids in action. Now, I'm not a nervous parent, and I fully trust the daycare staff to love, care for and nurture my kids, but when Sophie cries when I drop her off, something inside me breaks, and it's really tough to walk out of the door instead of scooping her up and taking her with me. I know it's good for her, and the photos I get sent of her smiling and playing make the drop off process a whole lot easier.

Overall, though, it's a positive experience! The kids are making friends and coming home tired enough to sleep all night (especially Sophie!). We've already had one birthday party invitation, and there's a party for the kids leaving the daycare next week, which will be a good opportunity to meet some other parents and start making some new friends over here.